MEGAN
“Sarah said we can ride horses.”
“Cool,” says Lance, his eyes on the road.
Lance’s brother-in-law now lives in Pittsburgh and we’re breaking up the almost ten-hour road trip into two days, enjoying some sightseeing along the way.
Last night we stopped off at a motel. It had a connecting door between our room and Cassie’s, which was acceptable. Lance thinks I’m a prude for being so paranoid about sharing a bed together with Cassie nearby.
This is the first time Lance and I shared a room while Cassie was around. Lance seemed to think we could have some fun and sexy time later but I couldn’t risk Cassie innocently wandering in. Adjoining rooms with a connecting door still doesn’t sit right with me even though Lance and I have been together for over six months.
So, nothing happened in bed last night and now he’s in a sulky, growly, irritable mood. He doesn’t like the idea of us having to stay under Brett’s roof, and he’s getting worked up just thinking about it. We’re staying at Brett’s house. Lance tried to wriggle out of it. I know he doesn’t want to stay with anyone. He would rather stay in a hotel nearby, but Cassie and Sarah are so close, given the physical distance between them, that he relented.
He’s going to have to be on his best behaviour because I don’t want to be screaming out his name in the middle of the night. It happens. It happens a lot because … the chemistry between us, it’s thermonuclear.
But for this vacation nothing will happen.
The motel didn’t have a gym but Brett has one in his home, so Lance tells me and he’s eager to work out once we get there. He thinks he can melt my defenses, because I only have to see him after a workout, all hot and sweaty, his face flushed, his body hard, and I want him.
He works out much more than I ever thought he did. No wonder he looks so good for his age. No wonder he is so lean, and hard and in great shape. The man is addicted to exercise. Even Cassie commented on it. Which leads me to believe that no matter what I say to him, how much I tell him he’s being paranoid and silly, this man worries that he will get old and I will get bored.
That will never happen.
He worries that my eyes will start to wander, but they won’t. I am not Vivian. His ex-wife is a fool who has no idea what she’s lost. A good man. A great man. She’s recently had breast implants put in and is dating her surgeon. Joachim was no more once Gianni came on the scene. Vivian is a fickle woman who gets bored easily. I pity her.
“Will you come horse riding, Megan?” Cassie’s fingers tap my shoulder from behind.
“Uh, sure.”
I don’t know what the plans are once we get there, but it sounds as if Cassie and Sarah have been a list of things to do. Cassie is beyond excited. It’s the most excited I’ve seen her since we had her tenth birthday party and invited ten of her best schoolfriends. We took them to the ice-rink, then had dinner at her favorite sushi restaurant.
After that, because Cassie wanted it and because Vivian wouldn’t let her, we hosted a sleepover for ten girls. Ten giggling, hyperactive who didn’t sleep until five in the morning, and then they were up at eight!
Sleepovers are inaccurately named. They should be called Wideawakeovers because that’s what the kids are when they’re having one.
Wide awake.
I stayed over that night because Lance asked me to. He was worried in case something went wrong; if there was some ‘feminine’ problem the girls might have had and he wouldn’t be able to help.
He makes me giggle, this intellectual, smart, caring, sexy man.
The sleepover was a great night for Cassie and I’m so glad we did it. I love it when she has a weekend with Lance and we get to spend time together. At first she was wary of me, but I was prepared.
I know what it is to have your parents break up and for someone else to come along. I never met my father’s mistress and my mind is full of images of a wicked witch breaking people’s hearts. I wanted to get off to a great start with Cassie from the get go. I didn’t impose, I stayed on the side-lines. I let her get used to me. I treated her like a friend instead of as her father’s little girl who I had to pamper and win over. I spoke to her like an adult, and I think it worked.
She started to trust me. She started to talk to me, and started to ask questions. She started to tell me things about herself, and then we began to share jokes and watch funny films. We laughed together. We started to do fun things together; she’d let me do her hair in crazy hairstyles, or she’d get me to sit with her and do drawings. I wasn’t very good, but she was. I can see she has a natural talent for creative expression.
The important thing is, she doesn’t see me as a threat. She doesn’t hate me. I think she likes me a lot, and I’m looking forward to this week because it will be the longest time we’ve spent together.
“Please come,” Cassie says.
“I will. I promise I will.” I feign more enthusiasm than I feel because I’ve never ridden a horse before.
“What about me?” Lance asks, sounding left out.
“You can come, too, Dad.” Cassie says.
“Dad?” He doesn’t like that name. Cassie started calling him that instead of ‘Daddy’ soon after her birthday. “What happened to Daddy?” he presses the point.
“I’m grown up now. I’m ten, and ten-year-olds don’t say Daddy. I’m not a baby.”
“I never said you were a baby,” Lance almost growls.
“Your little girl is growing up fast.” I stroke the side of his face, feeling amused by the firm press of his lips.
“I can’t wait to play with the kids,” Cassie remarks.
Lance snorts. “The kids? You’re still a kid, technically.”
I hold back a giggle. It’s a joy to watch and listen to the two of them banter sometimes. This man. This loveable, adorable man. He can’t handle Cassie getting older.
“At least I won’t be lonely.” A voice behind me says.
Lance and I gape at one another.
“Lonely?” Lance turns his head back to the road, but not before I catch the little muscle flex along his jawline.
“I don’t have anyone to play with. It’s just me.”
I twist and turn and look over my shoulder at Cassie. She looks subdued. “It’s more fun now that you’re here,” she says quickly, flashing me a megawatt smile.
“I’ll make sure you’ll never be lonely,” I tell her, and make a mental note to do some more girlie and fun things with her the next time she has the weekend with Lance.
“Are you going to have a baby?” Cassie braces the edges of my headrest. Lance breaks out into a coughing fit.
My heart somersaults at Cassie’s questions.
A baby.
Getouttahere! Arla’s voice bursts into my head from nowhere.
Silence fills the car. I’m aware that Cassie is waiting for an answer, and that Lance is silent. I dare not glance at him, because I’m too scared to see his expression. His silence tells me it’s not something he’s keen on. But I want to answer Cassie.
“Not any time soon, Cassie. But, who knows. Maybe?”
“Maybe?” Cassie’s voice is excitement personified.
“Settle down, Sweetpea. Remember what I said about asking awkward questions? That’s an awkward question, and it goes right up there with asking someone how old they are.”
I wince at his rebuke. “It’s okay, Lance. It’s only a question, and Cassie’s entitled to ask.”
I turn around again and wink at Cassie. Her eyes are downcast. “You can ask me whatever you want. I don’t mind.”
“We’re almost there,” Lance announces and I take a few slow breaths. I know how Lance must feel with my family. But Brett and his family have no reason to hate me. It’s difficult for Lance when he has to see my family. They’ve met a few times now, mostly when I’ve moved in or out of a place. I’ve moved twice in the last few months. First I moved out of state, and then within six weeks I was back in Boston. My family helped me and so did Lance. It could have been worse. It could have been a sit-down meal.
Most of my things are at Arla’s place and some at a storage unit, but I’ve been slowly moving things to Lance’s place for when I stay there, whenever Cassie’s not around. But I want my own place, for now.
Cassie puts her little fingers on my shoulder again, and hugs the headrest. Her voice is close to my ears.
“You will love Sarah. She’s so cool. She’s like my big sister.”
I reach up and squeeze her fingers. “I can’t wait.”
“And you’ll come horse-riding?”
“I’ll come horse-riding.”
LANCE
My hand moves slowly under Megan’s top and I gently knead her naked breast.
Bliss.
Four days. I’ve survived four days of abstinence.
Not voluntary abstinence.
Forced.
Megan wouldn’t let me do anything when we stayed at the motel. I made sure we had two rooms with a connecting door, so that Cassie was within reach, but it was because of that damn connecting door that Megan, suddenly developing prim and proper principles, wouldn’t let me touch her.
She doesn’t know how impossible it is for me to lie in the bed with her and not do a thing.
It’s been torture.
It’s been wonderful seeing Brett and Sarah and the family, but under their roof she still won’t let me do anything.
“They’ll hear,” she shrieked, when I slipped my hand into her panties on the first night here. I was hoping to seduce her but she wasn’t having any of it. “Don’t you feel on edge, having sex with everyone around?”
“I’m on edge not having sex,” I grumbled, sounding like a sulky teen.
“But the house is full! The girls are in the bedroom next to ours.”
“There’s no connecting door,” I point out. “And it’s not like we’re going to stream our performance online,” I say, drily. How I lasted years without sex I don’t know, because going a few days without it with Megan is like not breathing.
“Try to be good. Practise self-control.” She snuggled up alongside me and promptly fell asleep. I tossed and turned alongside her.
I now have four days’ worth of frustration to release. Brett, his wife, Natalie, and the kids left first thing in the morning for a hike and at last have the place to ourselves. Cassie has been so happy here. She and Sarah get on so well, and they are so close. She calls Sarah her older sister.
I’ve been thinking about the comment she made on our way here, about her being an only child. I don’t even know what Cassie knows about making babies, but she seems to know more than I want her to know. Ten years old and she’s asking about babies? I still want my daughter to believe in the Easter bunny, the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus.
But I know one thing. Megan only has to say the word and I’d make a baby with her in a heartbeat. Vivian never wanted another child, and that suited me just fine because I didn’t want to have another one with her.
But Megan, seeing how she is with Cassie, I know she would make a wonderful mother.
An amazing mother.
She has wonderful maternal instincts, probably something she had from a young age when she looked after Erica and Jensen.
Megan said ‘maybe’ to a baby.
I think about it now as I gently massage her in all the right places, hoping to slowly rouse her. She’s on her back, and I’m on my side, slowly peeling open her the buttons on her cotton full length pyjamas which she insisted on wearing to bed.
As if that would stop me.
I dip my head and lick the underside of her breast before dropping little kisses all over. Her nipples pop up like buttons and I latch on, first to one, then the other at the same time my hand slides lower and I trace my fingers across her hips, skimming the waistband of her panties before going lower. I tease her everywhere except that soft, wet place between her legs. My lips ghost kisses along her stomach, her lower belly, her thighs.
She stirs, making little noises, her eyes still closed. I try to be gentle, but it’s not easy to hold back.
I can’t survive a week like this. Sleeping in the same bed, but doing nothing? Brett wouldn’t hear of it when I suggested that Megan and I get a room at the motel nearby.
But now … in this golden morning full of promise… she’s mine. She arches her back when I suck too hard, for too long on her breast. Her skin is soft, and warm, and I’m hard, and desperate. She opens her eyes, squeaks in surprise before her hands grasp my bare buttock. She pinches gently. “Someone’s eager.”
“Can you tell.” I tilt my body towards her, and she feel my hardness poke her side.
“Hmmm.” She makes a satisfied, sexy sound in the base of her throat. We have the day to ourselves. Cassie and the others won’t be home until it’s dark.
I have a ring. I bought it recently when I knew for certain that Megan was the one.
I’ll be patient and wait. I don’t want to rush her into something. She started a new job a few months ago and moved into a new apartment soon after. It’s all so new. We met months ago but already it feels as if we’ve been together forever.
I don’t want to push her into making more life-changing decisions, not yet, not when everything is changing, but I carry this ring with me all the time. Just in case. And when the time is right, I’ll ask her.
Now isn’t the time. Not for that question. But I need an answer to another question.
“I’m all sticky and wet,” she moans, huskily.
“Just how I like you,” I murmur, before greedily sucking her breast again. Unable to resist, I slip a finger inside her panties. I can confirm, she is a soaking, sopping mess. I want to slide all the way inside her.
“Aren’t you sleepy?” She closes her eyes again. The presence of a smile on her face tells me to continue with what I’m doing.
“No.”
She inhales softly, arching her back as I sprinkle kisses below her navel. “Don’t you want to sleep for a little longer?” her voice sounds muffled.
“You can.” I slowly slide back up again, wanting to look at her. She stirs, and moans, and stretches her arms above her head. I lean in for a kiss.
She shakes her head. “Need to brush my teeth,” she whimpers. She hates morning breath.
Okay, then.
If she won’t let me kiss her …
I move back down her body and peel off her pyjama bottoms and panties and sink two fingers inside her. The scent of her arousal makes my cock unbearably stiff. She purrs contentedly, then clenches her muscles as I pump in and out slowly. Blood rushes through my body like a violent storm. My self-control falls apart, my mind is a tsunami of different thoughts. Gratitude for having this woman in my life, and relief that I get to fuck her for hours now without interruption.
We have the whole day. I couldn’t be happier. We don’t even have to get out of bed.
I circle my thumb around her nub, and she purrs, and mewls and grinds against my hand, her body beginning to shudder. I pull my hand away, not wanting her to come just yet. I want her to come when I’m inside her.
“What do you want me to do, Megan?” I want her permission.
“Fuck me.”
Got it.
She’s swollen with need and soaking wet with want. I position myself between her legs, using my arms to bear my weight as I hover over her. Poised at her tip, I fight the temptation to glide inside her, and wait and watch as her eyes open and widen as she stares at me. “Oh, baby, now…” she pleads, angling her hips in an attempt to swallow my erection.
I inch away. “What did you mean by ‘maybe’? When Cassie asked about babies. You said, ‘maybe’“
She lets out a sigh. “I want babies, one day.”
“One day?” I ask, hopeful. Her hand clasps around me and she rubs my tip against her wetness. “I need you,” she groans.
And I need an answer. “You think you’ll want to have babies with me, one day?”
She stops rubbing. A line criss-crosses across her forehead. “Yes, you.” Then she sinks beneath me, like her body is melting into the mattress. “You don’t want any babies, do you?”
Whatever gave her that idea? “I want them. I want them if you want them. I want a baby with you when you’re ready.”
“You do?” She sounds surprised. Her smile is slow and lazy, just like my entry inside her. I want to feel every inch of her.
“Yes, yes, I really do.”
She blinks a few times. “Then we want the same thing. I was so afraid you didn’t want …”
She’s on birth control, and I will wait for when she’s ready. But, she wants children. Cassie won’t be lonely.
We can make a family.
Our family.
“I do.” Seems I’m only capable of a few words at a time. I shove into her and set up a rhythm, pulsing in and out of her body. She’s tight, and drenched, and warm, and this is heaven.
“We can practise,” she moans, as I move in and out of her with measured strokes.
“Oh, yeeesss.” I’m beginning to lose my self-control. “We’ll need to practise. Lots.”
“Oh … baby…” she whispers, and I dip my head and kiss her. Wet and long, slow and measured, while we move in unison.
The noises coming out of her delectable lips are feral and wild. I fuck her hard. We make love sometimes, but sometimes, like now, we fuck. Hard. I piston in and out of her, and she screams louder, so I fuck her faster and harder. Excitement throbbing through my veins.
Jesus.
I suck in a breath, marveling at the way her face turns pink, how her neck and shoulders color. She cries out, her hands grabbing my arms before her head lolls to the side. “I love you,” she whispers.
“I love you.” I slam into her, harder, and faster, her head bobs each time I slam into her. I could to this all day and night long with this woman.
“Fuck … Megan …” I thrust in two more times before impaling myself deep, and then I empty inside her. “Oh…” I have no words. I lie joined to her, staring down at her, and she looks up at me.
Our eyes hold. I smile. She smiles back. I’m overcome with a boatload of emotion. My heart is full, my body sated. I slowly slide out and lie back, and she instantly snuggles up against me. I hold her close and close my eyes.
There is no other woman for me. Megan is mine, for now, for all time. Ours is a love that has defied time and moral expectations, but here we are, together, forever.