With a racing heartbeat at the thought of seeing Ethan again, Nadine left work at six, the earliest she had ever done.

She had been as busy as ever throughout the day, with no time to think about anything else except her projects and the people she managed. The pressing issue of finding a new replacement quickly also weighed heavily on her shoulders. But at the end of it all, when she cleared her desk to go home, she felt an explosion of happiness inside her. She wanted to go home. In fact, she couldn’t get out of the office fast enough.

As she hurtled out of the door, even Melissa did a double take and looked at her watch.

Nadine had called Ethan on his cell but couldn’t get a hold of him. They hadn’t discussed anything about them as a couple, but she liked to think they were an item.

That was her intention.
Was it his?

There was so much she didn’t know and this made her feel anxious. Nadine needed to know her parameters; she needed things to be ordered and predictable. She didn’t like surprises or unexpected things. She liked to know where things were and how things were going to pan out. And that included life with Ethan.

Would he come over tonight? Should she get him a key? Was she rushing into things? What if he didn’t have any plans for “them”?
She shook her head, as if the physical act of doing so would banish these doubts from her mind.

As she rushed into her apartment, she kicked off her heels and wandered into her bedroom, feverishly looking around for signs of him.

He’d made the bed as neatly as she would have done. He’d plumped out the pillows and left them at an angle, tastefully laid out with her extra scatter cushions.
He’d left it better than she would have done.

Her eyes caught sight of a note he had left on her pillow. She rushed to read it:

Don’t ever leave me without saying bye.
See you tonight.
Ethan

She traced her fingers over his handwriting. Her heart beat fast in anticipation of his arrival as she waited for him to come so that they could have another wild night like the one before. It was infuriating to wait for him, especially as she still didn’t know what time he would be back.
She read the note again. He did have plans to come back to her place. It was what she preferred. In time, she would like to meet the rest of his roommates but for now, they both needed privacy and she wanted to be alone with him whenever she could.

Should she shower first? Be refreshed for when he arrived?
Now there was a thought. She stopped as she started to grab her clothes.

What should she wear?
She didn’t usually get home until eight or nine and then she’d put on her comfortable lounge pants and a tight-fitting cami top, or even her silk shorts and a loose fitting silk button-up top.

The former was casual, but she wasn’t sure about the tight-fitting top.
No matter that Ethan had already seen everything there was to see of her. She didn’t want to come across as being desperate to him the minute he walked in.

The silk night wear was another no, for now. It might give him the idea that she was trying too hard.

After ten minutes of rifling through her clothes, she settled on her lounge pants and a modest t-shirt. One that didn’t scream sexy or desperate.
Even though she really was, for him.

With the drama of what to wear resolved, Nadine traipsed into the bathroom and then locked the door, something she didn’t ordinarily do. She undressed quickly and stood in front of the mirror and looked at herself naked.

First she stood sideways and sucked in her stomach, at the same time lengthening out her spine. Ethan’s stomach was tight; he had washboard abs and every piece of him was rock solid. She loved the feel of him against her and smiled. Reality hit home when she ran a hand over the slight bulge of her stomach; she grimaced. Hers wasn’t flat.
She sucked in further, until her stomach looked unnatural and completely sucked in.

She turned her back to the mirror and stared at the reflection of her behind. It was bigger than she would have liked, and along with her curvy hips, made her slightly pear shaped.

Her gaze fell on the dimpled, lumpy bits of skin around her buttocks. No amount of sucking her breath in was going to fix that. She tried to massage a roll of skin in her hand, but the orange peel texture of the skin refused to disappear.

She frowned, then caught her frowning reflection. What was she doing?

She turned around and faced the mirror. At least she still had nice breasts. For now, they were still firm and perky, and she had a good pair of long legs on her, too.

She looked at her face in the mirror.
What was she doing?
There were almost five years between her and Ethan.

She was officially a cougar.

But Ethan thought she was sexy. Did that make her a sexy cougar? Or was he with her just for the sex?

She unlocked the door. Ethan didn’t have a key and she needn’t hide from anyone.
Her self-examination over, she stepped into the shower and let the water wash away her insecurities.

By eight o’clock, she was sitting in front of the TV with a glass of wine, not paying much attention to what was on the screen.

They’d christened the couch last night, and now she happily relived those moments all over again.

A guilty smile swept across her face and she glanced at her watch again in frustration. Where was Ethan?

She wasn’t used to sitting around, waiting for someone. She tried his cell again, but it still went to his voicemail. She poured herself another glass of wine, in the hope that it would calm her down.

The sharp sound of her doorbell sent her heart into overdrive. She never had visitors, so it could only be Ethan. She would be calm—or at least try—but her stomach gnawed away inside and she wanted food.

And Ethan.

“Hey.” She opened the door to find him smiling at her.

“Hey yourself.” He leaned in, above the two bags of groceries balanced in his arms.

Her anger melted and she moved out of the way to let him in.
“You went shopping?” She felt guilty all of a sudden. “Let me get that for you.” She reached to take one of the bags off him but he was too fast and had slipped into the kitchen.

She followed him like a guilty child. She’d been wrong for thinking the worst; that he wouldn’t turn up tonight.
Now it seemed as if he had been living here for months, as if him shopping for groceries was a normal, everyday occurrence in her life.

“Something wrong?”
He slid off his leather jacket to reveal the outline of his big build and biceps underneath a loose white t-shirt.

She shook her head quickly.
“Feel free to help me out here,” he prompted, as she stared at him dreamily.

Her cheeks colored and she hopped off the bar stool, embarrassed by how much of a diva she must look, letting him unload the groceries by himself.

The truth was she’d become comfortable sitting and just staring at him.

“Come here.” He grabbed her around the waist just as she reached into the bags. He stood behind her and nuzzled her ear.

Sparks ricocheted along her skin each time he touched her. She leaned back against him and rolled her head back into his body.

“Are you angry with me?” He left little bites along her neck before he turned her around so that she faced him.

He could read her like a book already.

“You could have called, to let me know where you were.” Her eyes were rooted to his lips. She felt really silly now because it sounded so petty, in light of what he had been doing and where he had been.

“I left you a note.”

“I got the note. I just didn’t know what time you’d be back. I missed you. I needed to see you.”
She leaned in, ready to suck his bottom lip; it looked so tantalizing and she needed dinner over and done with.

His lips softened into a sexy grin. “I’m sorry, Nadine. I left my charger at my place. Then I was in the workshop all day long. I usually charge my phone overnight, but last night my hands were full.”

She opened her mouth to say something, but the urge to kiss him won out. She melted into the kiss that he planted on her lips. His mouth moved lower, tantalizingly lower, grazing the edge of the t-shirt she wore.

“You smell so good,” he whispered, as his mouth left a line of wet kisses along her bare skin.

She moaned. “You smell of metal and sweat. I like it.”

He moved his face up and left her with one long final kiss, tasting her mouth as if it were sweet nectar. She could do nothing but writhe against him, until he pulled away first.

“I’m going to cook for you.”

Her slow smile, formed from just-kissed lips, crumbled. “Can’t we eat later?”

He placed a gentle hand on her face, and ran his fingers against her lips. “Trust me, there’s nothing I want more right now than to carry you into the bedroom and show you just how much I’ve missed you today.” He kissed her on the nose. “But we should eat first, for sustenance.”